Something has been happening within me for the last week or so. I feel a sense of energy that needs to be released or directed. Sometimes I feel it in my solar plexus, sometimes in my chest. It’s not unpleasant – it’s the sort of feeling you get as a kid when it’s your birthday tomorrow!
At my age, I am expecting changes in my body – hormone fluctuations, monthly cycle ups and downs.
But what I am feeling right now is a wish to claim my power as a woman. To feel as though I am connected to all my female ancestors, those who understood our connection to all things. To find rituals that are meaningful to me in celebrating who I am, my place in the world, and the cycles of nature.
I have just finished reading an empowering book, Woman at the Edge of Two Worlds by Lynn Andrews. It is written by an American shaman who talks about her own path through menopause and the experiences of her four apprentices. It is a book that I am grateful to have found before experiencing menopause as its knowledge will help me understand the changes to come and realise that women who no longer bleed move into a new phase of powerfulness and wisdom.
I had put a few books on hold at the library just by searching “shamanism” and one that came in today is Shakti Woman: Feeling our Fire, Healing our World: The New Female Shamanism. It’s written by Vicki Noble, the author of Motherpeace (I have the tarot cards and am planning on buying the Motherpeace book to help me interpret the cards more fully).
I have only just started reading this book, but I am enjoying its message. Something I have been aware of for some time is how much I dislike patriarchal religions. Most, if not all, religions today were invented – yes, invented – by men for two main reasons, as I see it. First, to replace pagan traditions and beliefs, and secondly to disempower women.
We have lost so much knowledge from the days when women lived in tribes, giving birth naturally, menstruating together in tune with the cycles of the moon, living immersed in nature.
My goal is to work towards more personal strength (emotionally and spiritually), to embrace the changes I will experience in my body over the next few years, and to become a “crone” or “wise woman” who will be a mentor to others. Quite a challenge, but the work has already started!