I know that it’s OK to paste part of Leo’s post here, as he says that his entire blog is uncopyrighted. Here’s the first part of it but I encourage you to read it all here.
It comes at an interesting time for me. I struggle daily with my issues of control and expectations, mostly around my oldest son. Today I came home from the park and found that ds1 had been prepping food in the kitchen and had, as often happens, left the dirty dishes etc lying around. I asked him nicely and calmly whether I could expect his help to clean up the kitchen so I could prepare dinner and consciously made sure that I had no expectations of him agreeing. I washed, he dried and put away the dishes, I thanked him, and all was well.
My Tao cultivation has moments of success like this which make me realise how much better life is when we stop acting automatically, and become mindful of our thoughts, speech and actions.
Toss Your Expectations Into the Ocean
‘Act without expectation.’ ~Lao Tzu
Post written by Leo Babauta.
How much of your stress, frustration, disappointment, anger, irritation, pissed-offedness comes from one little thing?
Almost all of it comes from your expectations, and when things (inevitably) don’t turn out as we expect, from wishing things were different.
We build these expectations in our heads of what other people should do, what our lives should be like, how other drivers should behave … and yet it’s all fantasy. It’s not real.
And when reality doesn’t meet our fantasy, we wish the world were different.
Here’s a simple solution:
Take your expectations, and throw them in the ocean.
(continued at the zenhabits blog)