Day 9/100-Day Self-Connection Experiment



The meditation continues. The last couple of days’ sessions have frankly been full of thoughts. I gave a presentation on Wholistic Nutrition on Saturday and since then I have been mentally rewriting or adding to it, but it would probably have been good to actually spend time updating the slideshow so that I can stop the ideas from running around in my head.

I am currently sticking with 45 minutes a day. Anything less was too short to get my mind clear.

I haven’t watched more than a few of Kyle Cease’s own videos. Everyone is going to have a different experience, and he talks about his own, and I need to focus on my own without expectation or judgment.

So today, after 8 days of really getting nothing, I had a bit of a breakthrough. A question arose which I was able to sit with.

“Where am I?”

In other words, where is the “I” that is running the show? Am I in my brain, where I hear my daily narrative, my thoughts? Am I in my heart, where I feel love and compassion? Am I in my dan tien, the belly, where I feel honesty and integrity, or am I in some other place? My big toe? The air around my head? Some other “place” altogether?

Where does the life force come from that animates the cells after conception and the fetus’s heart starts beating?

Am I Nicola? Well, no, because that persona is a temporary me for this particular lifetime. This body is a temporary one. It is a vehicle. But where is the driver? There is no visible driving seat!

Who is behind the thoughts?

From “Where am I” to Who, How, What, Which, Why. Huge questions to which I have no answers but by keeping the mind curious and open maybe some answers will come.

I chose the image above because I spent part of my meditation time in outer space today! “I” went above the clouds, to the blue sky beyond, then it was nighttime and I could see stars, I looked at the earth which got smaller and smaller, I touched the Space Station and dodged a piece of space junk, and I held hands with millions of other consciousnesses who were out there too.

A good start to the day!

(Image from Pixabay. I am using this site all the time for my other blog. Creative Commons pictures, no attribution required.)

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