I am in the process of resizing the images from my blog, possibly even deleting old photos completely. Hopefully that doesn’t mean that my subscribers will get a slew of old posts coming up in their feeds, but I need to do this so that I can free up space for new blog posts.

Bear with me for a while!

Edited to add:

Wow, what an experience, reading the stuff I wrote in 2008. I was still using Blogger at the time rather than WordPress, and I had recently set up my own blog, having separated from a group of friends with whom I used to blog. There’s a lot of negativity about various aspects of my life – I obviously wasn’t in a good place emotionally. But then I re-read this (below) and I felt so relieved and grateful that the old me found this book and was actually able to put the advice into practice and become a better person as a result. And I feel that the blog posts I write now are so much more upbeat, reflecting the person I am today.

I have just re-read this book, Radical Forgiveness, by Colin C Tipping. I read it a few years ago, then was reminded of it when Amanda mentioned it. I believe in synchronicity. I put the book on hold at the library and have enjoyed reading it a second time.

I don’t subscribe to any organised religion. My beliefs are an eclectic mix, and I have respect for some of the beliefs from various cultures including Buddhism, Wicca and Native American. Having an open mind is important while reading this book.

The book talks about people as being spiritual beings having a human experience. It says that we decide on the learning experience that we will have on earth before we are born into our physical bodies. If we are upset by someone, we are being given the chance to heal past hurts. We need to get away from the victim mentality and recognise that everything that happens to us is created by us for a reason.

Towards the end of the book, the author gives a worksheet to enable the reader to work through a specific problem. Long before I reached that worksheet, I had already found myself at a place where I was able to see that the strife with my friends a few months ago was meant to happen – I created it, even though I didn’t see it at the time. I have played the victim role, complaining about what happened, and my internal dialogue was making me miserable.

I have now moved on to a state of radical forgiveness, which is unlike traditional forgiveness. Radical Forgiveness involves realising that there is nothing to forgive – my friends and I played our roles as we were meant to. If for some reason I do not learn my life lesson this time, then I will continue to attract similar situations until I succeed.

I have no doubt that anger and resentment can cause disease in the body. I have had to visit the doctor recently and, whilst he treated the symptoms, he made no indication of knowing the real cause of my problem. But I do. It was emotional stress and tension. Now that I have dealt with the real cause, my physical problem is going away.

I don’t know what will happen to the relationships that were affected by all this “personal growth”, but I am feeling better in myself, I feel happy again, and I am no longer dwelling on the past or making assumptions about the future. I definitely recommend this book!

I have minimal energy today and have to assume it’s the 34 degree weather outside. The house is hot and stuffy and I feel like I’m moving through molasses. We have to keep the windows, at least on the south side, closed all day. The UV film is doing a grand job of reflecting much of the heat and glare, but these days I feel quite claustrophobic if I can’t have a window open and feel air passing over my skin.

I suppose we could go down to the beach and cool off in the lake, like we did last night, but we all seem to be satisfied to be indoors doing as little as possible. If we get the promised thunderstorm tonight, I will be out there getting wet!

I have some topics I’d like to write seriously about, to make a change from small talk and knitting. If I can get my brain cells to co-operate, I’ll tackle one today and the others later. (I even fell asleep on the sofa at lunchtime, I felt so tired.) I’ll start with the easiest for now.

One of the things I often wonder about is why women put on weight in different places. What I mean is, one of my friends has put on weight over the last couple of years, but it’s all around her middle. She’s an “apple” – her legs are as slim as ever. I, however, put on weight/keep it on around my thigh area – I’m a “pear.” Now why would there be two such different body types? Are we descended from two very different genetic types? Why wouldn’t we just put on weight evenly all over? Actually, since I continued to put on weight, it has distributed itself all over my body eventually, working its way up and down from the aforementioned thigh area. Now that I am making a concerted effort to eat less, it will be interesting to see what shrinks first! If only it would NOT be my boobs!!

Another thing I have been curious about is how our bodies change as we age. I have a senior friend who writes a column for the local newspaper and she thinks that someone should write a book called, “What to Expect when You’re Aging,” similar to the format of “What to Expect when You’re Expecting!”

I will be celebrating my 50th birthday this month – yes, really celebrating, I have actually organised a party on the beach and invited a ton of friends. In the summer, we tend to show off more skin and notice what’s going on with our bodies when the winter sweaters come off. Being on the beach, surrounded by people in varying states of undress, gives you a chance to see the immense range of human bodies. The skin of a 20 year old, smooth and peachy, is so different from mine with its age spots and cellulite, which again is so different from the 80 year old grandmother with all her saggy lumpy bits. But it’s all good.

It’s taken me nearly 50 years, but I am finally learning that the body that we inhabit in this lifetime is just our “earthsuit.” Yes, it’s important to feed it well, keep it healthy and strong, because it is the vehicle for our soul, but the way it looks is nowhere near as important as the movies and magazines would have us think.

Most of the time now, I look at my body, or check in with how it feels, and feel comfortable and happy. It’s ironic that my butt is 1.5 times the size it was when I was 20 but I don’t have a problem with it any more! Occasionally I’ll catch sight of my upper arm, looking a little dangly (what is it with that upper arm thing that suddenly hits in our forties?), or look down at my legs that look like the surface of the moon, and as soon as the old negative thought starts to form I’ll nip it in the bud. It really doesn’t matter. It’s what’s inside that counts.